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Well, Lada-di-dah!
Are you familiar with Lada? No? Let me refresh. It is the bargain basement Russian car (think the Red Square's version of the Fiat Panda or Citroen 4CV), mass produced in huge quantities during the 1980s and 1990s when everyone there started driving. It's from the AvtoVAZ, Russian car manufacturer, and still in production today. Ladas might be better now, but in the 80s and 90s, they were basic. Very basic. Really really basic. I mean, don't drive one that is 18 years or older; by then, it's junk. I was unfamiliar with the Lada until I got a ride in Prague with a British man who owned a 1991 model. Little did I know I was in for the proverbial ride of my life.
In Prague, people drive on the right hand side, like we do. The Brit, however, had bought his Lada in his mother country, so his steering wheel was on the right. This should have been my first clue that things were going to get strange. Buckle up.
Getting into the car is complicated enough. Yes, this is a 1991, but the passenger door doesn't open from the inside, and the back seat door doesn't open from the outside. Cares aside, we hopped into his death trap....excuse me, Lada. "I hope it starts," says the English man. I mistakenly took this for a joke. Upon reflection, I wish it hadn't.
My ride across Prague was simply terrifying. Driving this thing required skills comparable to F1 or 18-wheeler pilots. Every time we needed to slow down, he had to pull the e-brake, and immediately start revving the engine so the car didn't stall. Merging traffic was difficult due to the steering wheel location. Stopping was difficult due to the constant emergency brake usage. Driving was difficult due to the constant clutch pumping. Not the best combination. How expensive are hospital visits in Prague?
Fortunately, Prague is a small city. We arrived at our destination severely shaken, but unscathed. It took a while for my knuckles to show color again. Apparently, Lada owners enjoy great customer service, though. The owner proudly claimed he has gotten his car towed miles across entire countries before. So, in that respect, I guess it's a great car. But next time, I'll take a cab. |
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